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The tendency to worry can be hereditary or acquired or a little bit of both. And if you're a worrier, you worry on your way to work, during lunch time, on the way home. And you probably worry yourself into insomnia. A little bit of worrying is fine. It can push you to change the washer of the leaky tap, call up your mother, take out some medical insurance. It can make you confront a problem head on and turn up a solution. It is said that a successful man is always a worried man. But there's the type of worrying that's a mega waste of time because it's open ended and has no obvious answers. Because you're always conjuring up the worst case scenario. Actually the reality is never as bad as it seems. "Life is short" says Frank Tallis, author of How to Stop Worrying. "So time wasted on worrying about things you can't change is better spent enjoying yourself." Here are the top ten bug-a-boos and how to deal with them with a little help from Tallis...
1 GROWING OLD You are bombarded with goodies for wrinkles, falling hair, age spots, et al, all of which you are supposed to battle on a war footing. Instead let's focus on the positives. • Older people who work consistently, have fever accidents and less absenteeism than their younger colleagues. • An 80-year-old does not age faster than a thirty-year-old, but in a linear progression. Some healthy octogen'arians perform better than forty plussers. • You are wiser. You are at a party and you meet somebody who boasts about 5-star holidays, finances, friends in high places and you think "God, what an insecure specimen". When you were 20 you would have agonized "Gawd. He's so much better than me!"

• You stand up for your rights, express your preferences because you know your own mind. You can chuckle when your child's 10-year-old classmate is accompanied by a "nanny", when a woman wears six rocks on her fingers that clash violently with her designer outfit, when a bookshelf is filled with fat gleaming Pulitzer and Booker prize winners and leather bound classics, obviously untouched by human eye or hand. • You don't worry about whether people like you or not. Because you know from experience that some will and some won't. You cherish those that you love, but don't push with those who are there only for superficial reasons, which you can recognize. • Sex is more meaningful, because slow and steady wins the race and is nature's best relaxant. Steal these age-busting tricks: • Walk tall. Keep your rear end tucked in. Pull in your chin. Tighten your stomach muscles. Keep your knees unlocked. • Stimulate your mind with hobbies and puzzles, which you don't encounter in your work. Gear up for conversation with newspapers and W. • Use sunscreen, eat healthy, get off the couch. • Have regular dental check ups to keep all your choppers. A tooth whitening treatment can take years off your face.

EiGETTING ILL Your best friend has had a heart attack at 39 and had to be fitted with a stent. Your neighbour has a malignant lump in her breast. Your brother has to have an insulin shot daily to control his diabetes. Your family tree is riddled with osteoporosis. Can this happen to me? Am I next? You worry. A change of life style, chemo, no chocolates, ever again. For starters, while your parents provide the blue print for your longevity, your own lifestyle, where you live, whether you follow a good diet and exercise routine and other factors exert a more significant influence on your wellness. Steal these get-healthy ideas: You are more in control than you think. Concentrate a boosting your immunity by - • getting adequate sleep -6 to 8 hours without relying on an alarm clock to waken you - with a short nap. • eating sensibly. Low fat, with plenty of fruit, veggies, sprouts, whole grains, grilled foods, water. Mushroom, dark chocolates, tea and fish are reputed to build up immunity. And a minimum of sugar, salt, refined flour, fried stuff, alcohol. • keeping fit. Exercise reduces the risks of cardiac disease, diabetes, High Blood Pressure, osteoporosis. • letting loose with R&R (Rest and Relaxation). Recreation is re-creation. • enjoying your friends and family, with love and laughter. All this will make you feel so good that your worries about ill health melt away. At the same time get screened (without being obsessive) for High Blood Pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, breast and cervical cancers, colorectal cancer, prostate problems and osteoporosis to set your mind at rest.

HAVING ENOUGH OF MONEY Money buys things. More money buys more and better things. The problem with money is that often there is not enough of it, regardless of your income. It's very,frightening when bills get bigrK while your income stays at the sa level (or gets depreciated by i7flation.) But worrying about money is ompletely unproductive,

Steal these cash saving ideas: Face the problem head on and come up with some kind of manageable budget. You can keep sums in separate labeled envelopes, for better tracking. But do include a few fun things and treats, however modest. Making a living is not the same as making a life. And start small savings by way of Systematic Investment Plans (SIP) and Mutual Funds (MF).
Actually it has become fashionable to be frugal. Time was when you used the backs of paper to write on, made your own envelops and refilled ball pens, people looked pityingly at you. Today if you recycle clothes and leftovers, switch off lights when not in use, take a bucket bath, cycle to work, you are looked upon as a Green God.

YOUR OFFSPRING Worry goes into Parenthood Territory. You worry when they start school (and even after), you worry about sleepovers and socials and school trips, you worry about exams and results, you worry when they sniffle 'n' sneeze. The trouble with worrying is that it can turn into a full time occupation.
Steal these kid bits: Children have to be allowed to spread their wings, to learn their own lessons, make their own mistakes, find out the hard way that they can smash their noses if they don't navigate properly on a skate board, that they can miss the school bus if they loll in bed. Don't always operate on a worst case scenario. The problem is that once you've relinquished even a teeny tiny bit of control, the possibilities for disaster seem endless It doesn't get any better when they learn to drive or go backpacking. Your fertile mind imagines incredible horrors that your children haven't even dreamed of. Your job is to give them the confidence to go ahead, that everything is hunky-dory, despite the butterflies in your belly. Trust yourself that you've done a reasonable job of being a parent, which means that your child, whether 2 or 32, is probably safe and happy. You have another alternative. Follow the advice of writer Gore Vidal: "Never have children, only grandchildren!"

ElGOING BALD You comb out your hair and an alarming number of hairs waft out. And you remember your recurring nightmare of hair falling out in fistfuls on your pillow. And you don't think that bald men jokes are even remotely funny. Steal these mane saving tips: For starters average hair fall per week is 30 to 50 a day, and 300 to 500 a week, So don't worry unless you cross this limit. If you eat sensibly, do not suffer from stress or ailments, you can blame it on your genes which make their presence felt as Male Pattern Baldness, in which the hair line begins receding from the forehead to the crown. It hits women after menopause too, but on the crown of the head. Snake oil, standing on your head, prodding your head with ivory toothpicks will not help. And coiling it artfully to cover the bald spot looks lame. So can you get your hair back? Not by much. But you can try not to worry, which can aggravate the fall. Other hair growing tips include: • Green tea and Saw Palmetto supplements. • Getting more protein (in skim milk, egg white, dal, beans), leafy greens and fruit which can keep existing hair nourished. • Topical minoxidil or oral finasteride can help some kinds of baldness, but the drugs have to be taken life long and have some side effects. • Faking it with toupees. It is said that a middle aged Bollywood star has a multitude of wigs in new hair cuts, slotted into first week, second week, third week. • Spritzing. A complex of tiny micro fibre hair is sprayed on your head to bond with your hair, until you shampoo it out. • A skin toned film that fits around your hair line, fitted with synthetic hair. • Surgical transplantation where 2000 to 2500 follicles are transplanted at one time from the back of the head to the bald area, and set 1.5 mm to 2 mm apart. • Flaunt your bald pate. It's trendy. No more barber's bills, lotions and potions. If Amrish Puri and Diandra Soares can do it, so can you!!

KEEPING UP WITH HI-TECH STUFF There's the TV, the VCR, the DVD. Then there's texting, voice mail, Google talk, Skype. Your cell phone can take photographs, access your mail, play music, record conversations. Are you ready? Are you tuned into the age of instant communication? Steal these tricks: If you are lost in a welter of technology, you can ask your kids to help. They can set you up on FaceBook, provided you promise that you don't ask them to be your friend. But beware. Before you've learned to record your favourite programme, something more mindboggling beckons. They can set you up on Skype but, alas, the person that you yearn to see is never available on your time frame. And cell phones may trigger brain cancer. While a jab of a button can make your whole contact list disappear into cyber space. Whew! You can take a firm stand and refuse to be a slave to gizmos and gadgets. They don't necessarily improve the quality of your life.

Stay in the slow lane. Dig out a pen and notepaper. Write a Thank You letter. Make a Birthday Card. Put a stamp on it and send it on its way. Even the most hardened techie will feel warmth of your caring.

BEING A GOOD SPOUSE, PARENT, CHILD... Your loved ones are always saying "Look at so-and-so's spouse, parent, child, whatever. See how much s/he does, communicates, cares, gifts whatever." Somebody else is always setting impossible standards that no human can possibly reach.

After all you are not a saint, but flesh 'n' blood. You bicker and snap and criticize and forget to call. Hold on to this thought: What's important is that you keep trying to do your best - you touch, you hug, you listen, you love. And your best is good enough. Always.

BEING ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME The walls need a coat of paint, the upholstery is frayed, the dining table formica is cracked. When you're multitasking, you toss 'n' turn at nights, wondering how on earth you're going to pack it all in. And you wake up in the morning hollow eyed, grim faced. Steal these coping tricks: What's amazing is that you can invite your friends over and nobody notices that the ceiling is peeling, the brass isn't .9 learning, there's a bald spot on the sofa. That's if you stick candles in beer bottles, bring out the guitar for a sing.

A WORRY WARTS PLAN OF ATTACK • Keep busy. It is the interval between work and play, or work and work, or play and play that a worrier has his worst moments. So do as much as possible, whether by way of work or play. Remember it is physically impossible to concentrate on two things at the same time. Even two worries. • Become aware of what crossed your mind before you actually worry. • Count your negative thoughts. You can use a coin, transferring from one pocket to another. You'll discover that you are having the same thoughts over and over again. • Concretise what the situation is, what you are feeling about it, what you say to yourself Divide a piece of paper into two. Negatives and positives. For example, say you want to switch job. You will not be able to function with newbies. V Your present job is boring. 8/ You will make more money. Nei Even if the new company folds up you will have a stronger CV and the experience of a dynamic environment. song, boogey the night away. So what you've bundled all the mess into a box/basket or three, or stowed them under the bed. Congrats. You've mastered the art of cutting corners and doing far fewer jobs around the house. List out all the things that needs to be done today, within the week, within the month. Then delegate at least half of them. Look at the tasks that you and only you can do. Are they crucial? What would happen if you put them off? Or just refused to do them? Then break them down into small accomplishable bits. Worry flourishes on things being heaped up in an impenetrable lump. Separate out the strands and you'll find that, why, there's nothing to worry about at all.

THE THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO BEFORE YOU SAY 'BYE You may worry that your job leaves no time for your secret ambition - to be a world class photographer or that being a parent puts a lid on all the exciting dreams you once had about taking up painting. You have to be firm with yourself. There's an old proverb, nothing ventured, nothing gained, which underscores the fact that people who put their dreams on hold, end up being lonely and depressed. Gel out of your rut, instead of just lapping up whatever life doles out to you. Like George Eliot said: "It's never too late to be what you might have been." So make a list of good things about yourself and things you'd like to do and fix them on your bathroom mirror. If you want to travel to the South American rain forest, grow mushrooms, climb a mountain, write your family history - take a deep breath and do it. Of course, if it's a big dream like becoming a Bollywood star, you may not succeed. But at least you'll have fun trying.

LOSING YOUR MEMORY You've forgotten where you've kept your keys. You wonder what you went for into another room. You can't put a name to a familiar face. You struggle to rernember your own telephone number. Frighteni isn't it? Are you on the road to Ajze eimer's? (Incidentally Alzhei,ther's isn't forgetting where you put the keys, but what you use a key for). Steal these memory tricks: FYI: It's a misconception that your brain automatically deteriorates after you leave your twenties - and there's research to prove it. Like any other part of your body you need to exercise your grey cells to keep them sharp. Every day:Try to do one thing differently - tie your shoelaces left handed, walk a different route to a regular destination, figure out and cook from a recipe written in French. Get some fresh air and spend a couple of minutes deep breathing, to help keep your mind relaxed, focused, refreshed. Every week: Learn something new - information in a book or from TV, a couple of words from the net. Make notes and test yourself the following week. Every year: Take up a new interest or hobby, learn a new language or musical instrument - and stick with it for at least three months. My own tips for numbers: Break up a mobile number in groups. For example 98 - 705 - 704 - 07 is easier to remember than prattling it off in one full sweep. For faces and names: Make sure that you listen to the name of the person you've being introduced to. Then say it back and use it in the conversation as often as you feel comfortable. Try and focus on a distinctive feature - bushy eyebrows, pert nose, crooked teeth -to remember a face.