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CONQUER YOUR WORST FEARS

Public Speaking What's behind it Yes, you're worrying about forgetting your speech, being boring and looking foolish. But what also has you on edge is a need to be liked, says Harold Steinitz, Ph.D., codirector of the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland in Towson. "Since there's no one-on-one feedback when you speak to a crowd, you have no way of knowing what anyone's thinking. Part of overcoming your fear is accepting this uncertainty." But consider this reassuring fact: Researchers who have studied what's on the audience's mind during speeches have found that people want you to succeed. "When you're comfortable, they're comfortable," says Steinitz. "Rest assured that no one is picking out your flaws." If you slip up, move on quickly: The crowd will notice only if you overreact, says Steinitz. Pro tip Till K. Kahrs, consultant on public speaking to top CEOs and cofounder of thetrainer4u.com In his former career as a country singer, Kahrs regularly performed in front of 25,000 fans. Nonetheless, he still sometimes gets anxious in front of a crowd. "The secret is to manage and focus your nervous energy," he explains. His suggestions: As you speak, look at one person at a time; then, every sentence or thought, pause and shift your gaze to someone else. "Most people make the mistake of letting their eyes roam constantly around the room, but this builds tension because the brain can become over stimulated," says Kahrs. If you're still nervous, try using hand gestures as you speak; they can release tension and make you appear to be a more dynamic presenter.

Do You Worry Too Much.?
Sometimes it's smart to worry. It can force talus to plan or to take safety precautions. Worry can lead to wellness. If we didn't worry some about our health, would we eat right and exercise? Probably not. But worry can also escalate so it's excessive, chronic, or both — anything but healthful. It's a common thread running through many mental health disorders. In depression, worry may take the form of guilt (worrying about having done something wrong) or distress about feeling incompetent. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is well-known for its intrusive, uncontrollable fears of contamination and losing control. Health anxiety is excessive worry about becoming sick. The extreme form is hypochondriasis, which often involves seeking unnecessary care for imagined illnesses. General anxiety disorder is an officially recognized psychiatric condition in which worry is the dominant feature. People with the disorder are tormented by worries about everything from daily events to interpersonal relationships to potential disasters that are completely out of their control. For them, it's as if worry has become an irresistible habit, says Steven Shearer, a psychologist at the Franklin Square Hospital center in Baltimore who has written about excessive worry. Excessive worry isn't always experienced as a mental health problem. For some, it shows up as fatigue, headaches, stomachaches, and vague pain. A heads-up maneuver When we feel threatened, the fight-or-flight response kicks in, and our bodies get ready: the heart starts pounding; blood flows to major muscles; hormones like epinephrine (adrenaline) and cortisol flood the bloodstream. It is a strongly physical response. If a danger is immediate, or seems so, you can take action: You can jump she's soared as high as 16,000 feet. To cope, Mashy keeps low to the ground when she has to peer over the edge of a precipice. "I crouch down and look only as long as I need to. When you're down low, it helps you feel grounded, even if you're on the edge of a huge drop-off." Claustrophobia What's behind it Some claustrophobics have been traumatized by a past experience, such as being locked in a closet or elevator; but for many, there is

ANXIETY OR WORRY? The semantics can be confusing. Anxiety and worry are often used interchangeably. Yet by some definitions, worry is just the thinking (cognitive) aspect of anxiety, which also includes bodily responses (rapid breathing, shallow breathing, sweating). In everyday speech, when people talk about being "stressed out," worry is often a significant part of what they're experiencing.

No trigger event, says Dr.Doyle. "Often, the person once had a panic attack in an enclosed space and felt she couldn't escape, then grew more afraid of having another attack than of the small space itself." Using desensitization techniques is also one of the best ways to overcome claustrophobia, says Dr.Doyle. "Start with imagining the least scary scenario. Visualize sitting in a small room with the door closed, for example, then work up to the most frightening situation, like riding in a crowded elevator." Claustrophobics can benefit from anxiety-reducing techniques like meditation as well. "This helps you go into 'relax mode' once symptoms begin," says Dr.Doyle.

Out of the way of a speeding bus, notes Thomas Borkovec, a Penn State psychology professor and expert on worry. But with worry, the focus is on the future ("I'm going to flunk that test," "I'm going to be fired," etc.), so there's no immediate way to deal with the threat. The only recourse is to try to think and plan your way out of trouble. "People go up into their heads to try to figure out the danger," notes Borkovec. Worry can become part of a vicious cycle. Worriers anticipate worry, and trying to suppress those thoughts may backfire and make the worry even stronger. In addition, worriers often dwell on future events that are not likely to happen. When low-probability events don't occur, the relief may reinforce the tendency to worry: People believe, at some level, that their fretting helped keep the event from happening. Consider the alternatives.

We're never going to completely banish worry from our lives, nor would we really want to. Evolution has endowed us with complicated brains that allow us to experience self-consciousness, deliberation, and planning. A modicum of worry may be the price we pay for such higher-order thinking. In fact, some worriers may live longer or have more productive or creative lives, as long as they don't get overwhelmed by their distressing thoughts. Being cool, calm, and collected isn't the only alternative to being a worrier. The nonworriers among us include people who are deeply apathetic. Worry may also help put the brake on risk-taking behaviours that can end in disaster.

Getting help like many troubles, everyday worries are best handled by talking to friends, relatives, and coworkers; getting plenty of rest; and staying physically active. Exercise keeps our busy brains out of mischief.

Pro tip Kenneth Kamler, M.D., author of Surviving the Extremes, and a hand surgeon and medical expert on mountain climbing and scuba expeditions As a medical expert on dangerous expeditions, Dr. Kamler has hunkered down in tiny tents while scaling Mount Everest and gone scuba diving in narrow lava tubes. "If I feel anxious in a tight space, I imagine leaving my body," he says. This trick provides objectivity and focus; you can then ask yourself, 'Do I really have a reason to panic?" and "If I need to get out of this situation, what's my best approach?" mg What's behind it There are many types of fearful fliers. Some are scared of crashes, while others have anxiety over terrorist hijackings. Control issues also play a role, says Steinitz. "In a plane, you have to trust that the pilots know what they're doing." When flying, unlike driving, you can't get out whenever you want, which sets up a vicious cycle: Some fliers feel claustrophobic and fear they'll have an anxiety attack. Underlying these anxieties are troubles with risk assessment, explains Steinitz. "Anxious people confuse the possibility of an event with the probability of an event," he says. "Yes, the plane could be hijacked or crash, but it's extremely improbable." Though accidents are few, they get a lot of media coverage, exaggerating fears. For example, more people die every year in road and rail mishaps than plane crashes, but that fact doesn't prevent you from taking a bus or train. "There are risks in everyday life. Ask yourself why you're investing so much energy in one that's so unlikely," he suggests. Pro tip James Wysong, flight attendant and author ofThe Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet. To feel calm and in control, suggests Wysong, ask at the gate for a seat in front of the wings, where turbulence feels milder. "If you do hit a bump, sway with the motion instead of stiffening up, which makes it seem more intense," he says. And repeat to yourself: Those Lips and downs don't mean-that anything is wrong. Wysen-g-'-s tried-and-true tip: "Wa the in-flight movie. You'll on the ground again before you know it."
 There's good evidence, for example, of a connection to cardiovascular disease. We shouldn't dismiss serious worry as a problem only for worrywarts or Nervous Nellies. If you can't control your worries or they are interfering with normal life, it's time to get some help. Drugs like antidepressants and diazepam (Valium) along with relaxation techniques, such as breathing exercises, anxiety disorder. But they may not be enough. Cognitive behavioural therapy is more thorough, combining education about worry and challenges to distorted thinking with behaviour changes. With practice, this kind of therapy can defuse worry-filled thoughts without suppressing them. Try the following cognitive behavioural strategies designed for worry warts.

WORRY WORRY GO AWAY! What's playing on your mind Worry problem Cognitive behavioural strategy "I will be fired!" Worry rarely saves us from anything. The truly bad things that happen to us are rarely anticipated and often aren't in our control, Challenge risk assessments: "Am I overestimating the risk?" "It feels likely to happen, but is it really?" Remind yourself that worries pass: "Will this even matter a year from now? Two years? Ten?" "Is that lump cancer?!" Frequently seeking reassurance (web searches, medical tests, frantic phone calls) often perpetuates a worrying habit, Any relief from the reassurance tends to be short-lived, and the worry comes back. If you often seek reassurance from someone, wean yourself gradually with that person's help. Set time limits on your Web searches. .7 can't stop fretting about my teen's temper tantrums." Suppressing thoughts often doesn't work. What we resist will often persist. Learn mindfulness meditation, breathing exercises, or other strategies that can help you focus on the present. Accept worries as background noise that you needn't completely expunge, nor fully engage. "Anxious thoughts have crowded out all the joy from my life." Worries don't need immediate attention, You're the boss, not your worries, Try scheduling "worry periods." Give the worries your full attention for 15-20 minutes at a set time each day. If they intrude at other times, try to delay them to the next worry period. "If only I knew for sure that the company isn't going to sink." Worry doesn't give you more control or certainty, Challenge your need for certainty by recognizing that certainty is just a feeling, not reality, and control has limitations. "Every time the desk phone rings my whole body freezes, and! think - Is it the boss?" Accept your worries as "just thinking," so your body doesn't tense up. Breathing exercises can release bodily tension. Find activities that calm you down (exercise, yoga, a hot bath, prayer, etc.). "How can Raj be so carefree while I worry myself sick about the kids, our home, the mortgage?" Worries aren't a sign of personal weakness. Recognize that you and many others have "sticky brains" that make you vulnerable to excessive worry. Give your worries their due, but also learn ways to shut them down. Doing something physical can help. Getting into social situations can also pull you out of a rut.